Yesterday...

 All my troubles seemed so far away... 

Because I placed them firmly in tomorrow's day. 

Oh, I believe, I've made a mistake. 

Do you do that too? I was so inspired yesterday, but alas, I was sick (still am), so I channeled my inspiration into writing and prepping. I was hoping that today I would have the energy to do the things I thought of yesterday. 

But here we are after 12 hours in bed (hey, I am sick, remember?), still not having the energy to do those things. 

I once wrote a post on here some years ago about the death of motivation. More specifically, about how inspiration is relatively uncontrollable and thus you should lean on discipline. Upon some more years of reflection on this topic, I've recently come across the notion that discipline is also faulty, and instead we should lean on conviction. 

I've found that conviction is also what draws me into a movie oh-so-deeply. If a character has unshakeable conviction, belief, sacrifice for that belief... then I am mesmerized. 

Recently I rewatched all of the James Bond films with Daniel Craig while I was sick (hey, that's twice this year that I've been couch-ridden-sick). I'm not sure what overcame me, my brain must have been affected (effected? I never have learned the difference), and even though I despised them when first seeing them, I fell in love this time around. I'd also recently read the first book, Casino Royale, and I saw more of the book Bond in Craig than in almost any other Bond (other than George Lazenby - oh my heart goes out to On Her Majesty's Secret Service). 

The conviction Craig portrayed in the character felt more real than almost any Bond before, because there was sacrifice involved. The same could be said of many literary and on-screen characters that draw a crowd. 

Conviction: I believe this needs to exist in the world because I have seen the consequences of its nonexistence. I have deep conviction that "this" needs to exist. 

Freedom is the strength of character to choose to do what is right. 

I digress... back to procrastination, the oh-so-philosophical conundrum of Akrasia. 

What am I committed to, convicted about, obsessed with? What aligns with my values? That's where my real power stands. 

I know what I want in my life, finally. Now just to have the conviction to do it.