How you do anything is how you do everything?

I'm happy to say that I now understand completely all of my faults. 

Which is to say, I more than likely understand none of them! 

But alas, here I sit in the lobby of this hotel in this town in this state within North America, seeing a bit a of a matrix pattern in all areas of my life. 

I’m afraid to admit when I don’t know something.

I’m afraid to admit that I want friends. Which is maybe why I enjoy event planning so much, and being part of making that magical space for connection. 

I’m afraid to make deep friendships and keep up with them, because then I have to lose them every time I move. (thus I don’t have any friends that I’m vulnerable with).

I’m afraid to admit I want to be closer to my parents because I love them and I know they won’t be around for the rest of my life most likely. I’m terrified of losing them, of losing my best friends in the world. 

I’m afraid to admit I want validation of my ideas and efforts, and just me… 

I'm afraid of Failure and ridicule... and yet, if I were to ask myself what that fear is guiding me towards... It wants me to show myself through my art and content and ideas and products and writing and videos to allow me to connect with other people who relate and can find answers and support and community. 

I'm afraid of Uncertainty... and yet, if I were to ask myself what that fear is guiding me towards... It wants to help me avoid regret later in my life when I’m alone and isolated because I’ve kept everyone away by hiding myself and distancing myself. 

What if fear is the ultimate guide. The path to our best, most authentic, and most fulfilling life. 

I fear that I love my comfort zone and that it's killing everything I love in life. 

Now have some whiskey with coffee and a side of bacon: