I'm sick. The flu, maybe. The body aches are leaving me weak and sleepy on the couch, in bed, shivering under the covers. And this has allowed me the space to fall down a rabbit hole of my past.
A friend asked me if I had some old footage of a collab we did together, but I couldn't track it down. What does happen to things like that? Do they go to Gort's house in Halloweentown?
Regardless, the footage is missing, but in my pursuit of it, I stumbled upon my old YouTube channel. I watched all 17 of my videos, posted within a 12 months pan (that's not a bad track record either).
I was hungry, creative, curious, adventurous...
And my last video literally ended with, “My father has gone back into the hospital again.”
How dare I stop there!
Sure, the very next month, Kyle and I (the "very good friend" I reference in my last few videos from 2021), began eagerly filming for our own YouTube channel around pizza, but how dare I stop my own creative pursuits!
Since then, he asked me to move in with him, so I we went to Texas to pack up my stuff into a wee little U-Haul trailer to bring to his house in Virginia. I knew it would go well when he already had over half his closet cleaned out just for me :)
We lived in that house together from April 2021 (Easter day) to January 2023, so just under 2 years. In that time we started a YouTube together, and got a cat, and so that’s where I’d been posting really since July 2021! And in that house, I start to feel complacent and trapped, too comfortable, you know.
So I convinced Kyle to get rid of everything, cars, house, furniture… and move into a house on wheels, so we could adventure all the time :D
In the 3 years we’ve lived on the road, we gone from east coast to the north, to the south, to the west coast and up though Canada to Alaska and the Arctic circle and ultimately the arctic ocean and back again and back to the east coast and now back to the west coast.
But I think I’ve maybe lost site of the adventure behind life. The lessons. The growth. I’ve settled into a new comfort zone I suppose.
So what have I learned? That comfort zones come in all shapes and sizes if you spend enough time there it will become one.
I've learned that I miss this kind of reflection. That I thought I had to be so polished and that’s not true at all.
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